The Game of Life

I have done everything I can.  I have followed the rules. I have pushed beyond the limits and expectations.   I have made living life my priority.  I have played the game with CF, and played hard.  But what happens when I feel like CF is cheating?  Not playing fair?

What If?
I find myself at times thinking about the "what ifs" of life.  We all do it to some extent.  My biggest "what if?"  I wonder "what if" I didn't have CF.  What could I be capable of accomplishing in the world?   Where would I go and what could I do?  I wouldn't think twice about the future and all it has to offer.  I wouldn't think about time.  Nothing could stop me from living out all the dreams that fill my head.  I wouldn't worry about being forced to just sit back and watch CF shatter everything I love so dearly.  I wouldn't worry about what move it will make next, how it might cheat me out of the things I love to do, and most of all cheat me out of time with those I love.

Playing the Game
I can handle CF.  I can play its game.  I can stand back up after being knocked down.  I can rethink my strategy and fight even harder.  What I can't handle?  How CF affects the people I love.  How it disappoints and lets everyone down at times, how it makes me weak, how it ruins plans with family and friends, and how at times I feel I have absolutely no control over my own life.

Thinking about the "what ifs" is a dangerous game to play, and it doesn't help me play the game, let alone win against CF.  Thinking about the "what ifs" doesn't change the fact that I have CF: it's not going to make it go away. What do I need to do?  Fight even harder, push beyond the limits and expectations placed upon me, live life with everything I have to give, and be grateful for each beautiful breath.  Today starts a new game and I am determined to win. Thank you to everyone for cheering me on in this game of life.  Love to you all.


What "what ifs" fill your game of life?