Control

Our lives are wound together by complexities we can and cannot control. Think of your life and the influences in which you have had total control over.  Now,  think of those circumstances in which you have absolutely no control.  Those moments that are out of our control can put us to the test, make us lose faith, or cause us to cling even tighter to those aspects of our life we can directly control.

Can
I have spent a number of years striving to feel like I am in total control of my life.  Sometimes I think the more time passes, the more I try and control what's happening in my life: from the simplest parts of my life to the most complex. What simple form of control do I cling to? The color and cut of my hair.  If you have been in my life in the last year and a half you know you can never guarantee what my hair will look like: bleach blonde, dark brunette, purple, short, long, two toned, etc.  What do I have this morning scheduled? An appointment at my favorite salon with one of my favorite people, Janna. When my life feels a bit out of control and that the sands of time are slipping through my hands the tighter I try and grasp, a couple hours making me over makes me feel as if I am recharged.  I guess I feel it's easier to take on life's battles sometimes if there's a "new me" to take on the fight.



Relinquishing Control

What have I tried to endlessly hold control over for the last 27 years? CF and the part it plays in my life. What has become a harsh reality I have had to face? I can't control CF.  I ultimately cannot control what it is doing to my body.  What I can control? How I think about CF and how I let it influence my life.  CF will never fully control my life: I will always call the shots. Does CF make life a bit more difficult at times and will it continue to do so? Yes, but at the start and end to each day I know it is my life to live, CF just happens to be along for the journey.  Maybe I color and change my hair because I think that if I look in the mirror and see someone new, CF won't be there any longer as well.  The real truth is it's always there and always will be a part of my life. It's up to me to make the very best of it all.

Whether or not CF is trying to control my life, the life I live is mine and it is beautiful.  I still own each wonderful breath, each ounce of hope, and each gifted moment that turns into a memory.  Love to you all.

Color your hair purple today.