Monday, November 23, 2015

Giving Voice - A New Chapter (BIG ANNOUNCEMENT)

For as long as I can remember there has been this undeniable stirring inside of me. A restlessness that resides at the very core of who I am. It silently defines me from within, accompanying every breath I take.  It's a constant hum that resounds within. At times it's hardly detectable and it seems to unassumingly dance beneath every breath I take. But then that simple murmur grows into a boisterous cacophony of brilliant harmonies that seem to pour from every ounce of my being. What is it? The voice that lives within me and is born of the very breath that fills my lungs and renews my body. 

An Unstoppable Silence
We never know where that voice within us will lead, nor can we ever truly imagine where it will find its strength. In April of 2014 I began writing this very blog. It started as a way to share my life with those I love and give voice to the beauty that fills every breath I am given. But that voice grew beyond anything I could have ever believed possible and has been at the center of some of the most meaningful relationships and memorable moments of my life. It was you that told this voice it could do anything. It was you that helped unleash the song that I tirelessly tried to silence for so long.

At the very center of it all, however, is something that has tried to undermine that very voice - Cystic Fibrosis.

A year ago I thought the song that lived within me might be silenced forever. CF had mercilessly stolen my voice from within me, and I questioned the very person I was without it. The very thing that I felt defined me was gone. I never could have imagined the heartache, the pain, and the devastation I felt. But, I fought and through that exhausting fight I gained more than just my ability to sing again. I unleashed a passion that was untamable. A passion to share this voice – a voice reflecting every part of who I am, the beauty in my life, and the life giving song that leads from within.


Finding My Voice
Today, reflected in a voice stronger than ever, we are excited to announce the formation of Breathe Bravely as a nonprofit organization. We are dedicated to “giving voice to CF.” Learn more about us by checking out our website that just went live today: www.breathebravely.org
By launching Breathe Bravely as a non-profit organization, we can have a greater impact on building dialogue and awareness among our community while raising funds that support life-
saving drug development. More specific though, and unique to Breathe Bravely, is the development of programs that support CF research through the art of singing – something so very special and personal to me.  This program will lend itself to both physical and psychological benefits for those with CF. More information to come in the next weeks ahead. In all we do, we are giving voice to CF. 


Today is also very special because it is the day my first book, Breathing Bravely: Giving Voice to CF, becomes available.  It follows the first year of the blog, Breathe Bravely, and the tumultuous and uncertain seasons of CF. There are two different copies. One is a full color coffee table version that is a responsive journal. The other is a smaller black and white read through version. All proceeds to benefit the nonprofit Breathe Bravely. Available through our webstore and Amazon.  Meet & Greet Book signing will be held on Saturday, November 28 at Say Anything... Jewelry by Stephanie Wilde in Sioux Falls, SD. 


Defining Me
I could have never possibly imagined my life as it is today. I never could have imagined this voice from within finding such a powerful song composed within this life lived with CF. I have found a voice that defines ALL of me and its mission is to reflect the beauty that lies within every breath I’ve been given. I have found where my deep passion meets my true life. Let all of me endlessly sing from the voice that stirs deep from within. Immense love to you all.

Share your voice with Breathe Bravely.  




Learn all about Breathe Bravely the nonprofit organization at out our new website. Also order your book and check out our new winter clothing line!  www.breathebravely.org


The most sincere and heartfelt thank you to the incredible board of directors for Breathe Bravely and all the people who made today possible.  I will never adequately be able to convey the depth of my gratitude to each and every one of you.


Friday, November 6, 2015

To Just Be

As I walk outside, the cool crisp air of autumn stings as it touches my lips and pours itself into my lungs. Its brisk presence sending a familiar shiver down my spine. I close my eyes for a moment trying to hold back the tears that threaten to unleash my stifled anxieties of the season. The voice of a dear friend loops in my mind in an almost prayerful chant. The words, "this year is different" reverberate throughout my being. Emotion threatens to engulf me as the weight of each word and their deep fixed meaning stir within. I can feel the beating of my heart in my throat and feel the steadiness of my breath quicken. I become lost in the past and anxious about the future. I do my best to suppress these anxieties and hide them from the world, but at times they build to such an extreme that I feel as if I am suffocating. Every moment seems laden with these hidden anxieties- exposing my true insecurities and vulnerabilities to the world. Anxieties caused by a life lived with Cystic Fibrosis. 

I take a deep breath and do my best to rid myself of such crippling thoughts and anxieties. I take a moment to look at the world around me. To take in this very moment I have been given and let the past just be. To be hopeful in the future while still remaining rooted in this glorious moment. I remind myself, "I am breathing, I am alive, and I am thriving." 

Beneath the Surface
As I take in the beauty that surrounds me, I think about the last 365 days. I think back to the very day the realities of CF became so very real - the day I lay in the hospital post sinus surgery and bronchoscopy. I think about what we've all been through together. I think of how quickly time passes, yet the pain and heartache of this last year still feel fresh and new. You may not be able to readily see the wounds any longer of this past year, but they still live beneath the surface amidst every breath I take. I think of my life today, the possibilities that lie before me, and the people that have selflessly helped make this journey so very incredible. I think to myself - would today be as sweet or even possible if we all had not endured this past year and CF's unforgiving wrath? Would my passion and drive for tomorrow's possibilities be as fiercely focused? I don't know. Or has my potential been born from these adversities only to come to fruition by living through them? 
 

As I breathe in the brisk Fall air, my mind churns with the anxieties of the past year, but something catches my eye and consciousness. It's a beautiful rust colored leaf vibrantly interrupting the cold grey sidewalk. Its stark beauty reminding me of the beauty that fills every moment and every step of my life. Instead of being paralyzed by the pains of the past I am propelled forward by the resounding hope-filled words "this year is different" that live in every step I take and within every breath I am given. 

Hope-Filled Anxieties
Life is filled with endless anxieties and the beautiful struggle to balance the impact of the past, see the good in today, and live in the hope of the future. I will let the past just "be" while being rooted in gratitude for today. But most of all, I will live with an endless hope for the goodness that fills the next 365 days. Love to you all.