Saturday, June 28, 2014

The Great Escape

I think we have all had that feeling of wanting to pack a bag and set out on the open road, never to look back.  We are filled with a great hope that whatever we are running from won't find us wherever we are going.  We are trying to escape the weight of our world in pursuit of a place [whether physical or mental] of peace, contentment, and fulfillment. Or we are merely searching for a place to help us forget.

The Getaway
This past week Mark and I took the baby camper out for its maiden voyage of the summer.  For the most part the renovations had been finished and it was ready to take on the open road.  I don't think there was a more perfect week to be in South Dakota: encompassed by a perfect breeze, warm skies, the unwavering beauty of the cottonwood trees, and the chorus of the Missouri River waves lapping against the shoreline.  For four days I felt as if I had somehow escaped the reality of my world: my world of doctors appointments, PICC lines, IV antibiotics, pharmacy visits, phone calls, treatments, school, restlessness, the chaos of my life, decisions, disappointments, etc.  For some reason I felt as if none of it existed.  Everything was right in the world.  Sure, I still had to do treatments, take my cocktail of pills, do IV meds, study for a midterm, homework, etc, but it still seemed like I had escaped my other world for just a few moments.  Just merely existing, taking in what was around me, appreciating the mere beauty of it all, and just breathing were all that really mattered.  

As Thursday morning approached and our time to pack up the baby camper became a reality, I began to find myself getting crabby, restless, and nauseous.  I didn't want to think about my world so patiently waiting for me back in Sioux Falls: the appointments, the treatments, the renewed strength and stamina I needed to somehow find to continue to fight and win this current battle with my lungs, teaching, and class.  Following class, Thursday night I would drive straight to Minneapolis for a morning doctors appointment with my MN CF team: thrown so quickly back into the realities that are my world.  

We all try to escape, whether it is in a day dream, looking up to the sky to take in its beauty, losing ourself in a conversation with a friend, or taking off with bags packed on a quick getaway.  The one thing that still remains though, is our world is still waiting for us wherever our great escape may lead us.  We may be able to escape our life for a bit, but we cannot outrun it.  It's the only life we have been given, and it is ours to live fully. Even if it is filled with doctors appointments, PICC lines, IV antibiotics, and extra treatments: this life is all mine.  I am grateful for the little escapes, but know they cannot last forever: it's always back to life, back to reality. 

There will always be an open road in which you yearn to set out upon, leaving all the weight of your world behind.  But this is the life you have been given, you are strong enough to live it, and no one can live it like you can.  Sure, we all need an escape every once in awhile, but your true, beautiful life will always be waiting.

Are you living your life or trying to make an escape?

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