It’s with
the strike of a match a blaze of emotion is sparked and dares to undermine the strong
will that sets my spirit. As each candle is lit, I see an unmistakable glow flourish
in the eyes of those surrounding me. I cannot help but realize the vibrant glow
gleaming in their eyes is but a reflection of my own life – its vibrancy, its
unpredictable nature, and its unrelenting pursuit to be a light amidst darkness.
A glow that with every passing year I want nothing more than to hold onto - to be
the unrelenting fire that reflects the untamable life and drive that truly burns
vibrantly within every breath.
One More
My 30th
birthday was met with an unmistakable weight within my chest – an awareness of
the past weeks’ uncertainties with CF, unanswered questions, and most of all, a
deepening realization of what this life truly signifies and the deep gratitude
I have for the people I am given the chance to love. I cannot help but think no
matter the number of years I am given they will never seem like enough. If
anything, the magnitude of losing it all only grows. That the fire that burns
within me to truly live will never dissipate but only burn more passionately - always
wanting just one more day. One more year. One more breath.
As I felt
the air pour into the depths of my lungs in hopes of blowing out every last
candle, I couldn’t help but be wholly grateful. I knew this moment in many ways
should have never been, and in my heart I knew tomorrow would never be guaranteed.
In the reflection of the candles’ glow I not only saw myself but everyone in my
life who had fought selflessly and tirelessly for me to be given the chance to
celebrate this day – my friends, family, selfless strangers, doctors, nurses,
pharmacists, and everyone a part of my CF Care Team.
Unrelenting
As I blew
each candle out, billows of their existence swirled amidst the air - a reminder
of each candle’s lingering presence even after its glowing flame had been
stifled. But, there were several candles that forbid to be extinguished – blown
out only to vigorously reignite in an unrelenting glow. Trick candles - an
innocent mistake but more perfect than ever could be realized. As the candles
forbid to go out, I too forbid to let the blazing fire within me be suffocated
- especially by CF. May the fire within me will only burn brighter because of
it – casting a powerful glow of hope onto every beautiful breath I am given.
I held back
tears as my heart filled with the deepest gratitude for this life I’ve been
given, the people that ignite my soul, and every breath that renews the glowing
embers within me. I will take every beautiful day, hour, moment as they are so
graciously given to me - always sharing the vibrant emblazoned life that passionately
burns within me. Here’s to the past 30 years and to the endless hope for 30
more. Thank you to everyone who helped make my birthday so special and for most
of all, being such an influential part of what makes the fire within me burn so
brightly. Love to you all.
Let the fire that lives within you burn brightly today and every day you are given.
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