Generosity

How do you show gratitude? Do you send a card? Flowers? Give a gift? A hug?

Today I am struggling. Struggling to find the words and actions to show how truly grateful I am.  How do you adequately thank someone for literally giving you another breath? For giving you the gift of life?  Not just watching from the sidelines, but actually fighting in the game?  

This morning was the Great Strides Walk in Sioux Falls.  It took all I had this morning not to be a complete emotional hot mess.


Emotion
I still am on the verge of being overcome with emotion. I still feel that lump in my throat and my eyes at a single thought of this

morning start to well with tears.  What amazing people I have in my life, and it all started with a single step several months ago by my dear friends.  I could have never imagined the emotion, the people, the support, and love that has led up to today.  How can I possibly ever thank everyone? How can I show all of you how much you truly mean to me?  I think I will go my entire life searching for the right words and suitable actions to show my gratitude.  Nothing will ever be enough.

The Act of Kindness
Today's walk was truly beautiful. Team Ashley for Sioux Falls raised over $6,OOO. Wow. This leaves me absolutely speechless.  The generosity of people has been overwhelming. All I can offer is thank you and my love to each of you.  Your generosity, love, and, support mean more than you will ever know. The event itself raised over $156,OOO.  That is absolutely amazing.  That could be the cure.  That could be one more beautiful breath. That could be another year with friends and family.  That could mean dreams.  That means hope.

There is so much good happening in this beautiful life. Thank you, from the depths of every brave breath for walking, donating, and showing endless love. All the love I possess to each of you.

How do you show your gratitude?

All You Can Eat

"Please slide your shoes off and step over here."

No, we are not going through the security checkpoint at the airport.  We are in the doctors office getting ready to step on the scale.  

As I step on the scale I hold my breath, hoping that the number is at least the same as last time if not higher.  I know what you're thinking, "she's crazy." 

While the last comment is debatable, the constant battle to gain weight is endless. Cystic Fibrosis causes thick mucus to block the ducts of the pancreas, preventing digestive enzymes to assist in digestion.  What does this mean? It means my body can't process or absorb nutrients properly, especially fats. 

Pancreatic Enzymes

Number of Enzymes I take in a day.

Thank God for these little pills that work to digest my food: I would be so miserable without them.  Enzymes need to be taken anytime I eat.  

Diet

Because the most basic of daily tasks such as breathing take more energy, and because nutrients are not well absorbed, a high calorie diet is an essential part of life for someone with CF. Or as I like to call it, the "All You Can Eat" diet.   A higher body weight is linked to better lung function, and the ability to fight infection. The signs of a lung infection are decreased appetite and weight loss.


Buffet Anyone?
You're thinking, "that sounds awesome. All you can eat? Sign me up."  Sadly, it's not that simple.  At times the last thing I want to do is eat.  Why? Because having a full stomach makes breathing difficult: it pushes against the lungs limiting the amount of room the lungs have to expand for inhalation. Also, because of the complications with the digestive system and because of chronic coughing, CF causes severe acid reflux.  Affected Breathing? Acid reflux? Digestive complications? Bring it on. I'll take fries with that, please. Wait, make that cheese balls [they're higher in calorie content].


I am constantly aware of how I can simply add a few calories here and there, knowing I have to keep eating to stay as healthy as possible.  In the last year and half I have lost about 15 lbs.  I have gained just a couple pounds back, but it is a constant battle between losing and gaining.  In the world of CF a single pound in either direction can mean a lot.  


Those extra pounds you wish you could rid yourself of when you look in the mirror? Embrace them and be thankful for every one of them. They're beautiful.  Love to you all. 


Treat yourself today.  

Want to order those cheese balls? Do it and eat one for me.