Bravery.
It’s something that quietly dwells within each of us, giving silent guidance to
every step we take and each dream inspired. It’s set free upon each breath that
is shared upon our lips and embraced within every unknown possibility we take
for granted. We call upon reinforcements in our most dire and desperate of
states and generously share it with others when they are in need.
A Year of Remembering
As I take a
moment to reflect on 2015 I find myself consumed by a single phrase: “be
brave.” In one breath a year ago seems so very long ago, foreign, and like a
dream. But in another breath it feels like it was just moments ago - that I
could still reach out and touch it. The very core of who I am today is bound to
those difficult days. Days filled with fear, heartache, disappointment,
decisions, and moments consumed by tears. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it is
still painful. The hurts stings like icy daggers deep within the depths of my
being. At times I am paralyzed by a creeping familiarity that catches me off
guard- feelings I’ve tried to banish from my existence. I try and forget such
memories and the cold harsh realities of what CF is capable of doing. The
recollection of how different today could be and the humbling realization of an
always unknown and uncontrollable tomorrow consume me. As those memories
vividly flash through my being, I do my best to push them from my mind –
running furiously from the consciousness of CF.
Grace & Gratitude
On the
other side of that pain is a beautiful grace and the deepest gratitude. Out of life’s
adversity and pain comes unfathomable beauty. The life I have been given is
more incredible than anything I could have imagined. A year ago I couldn’t have
begun to tell you where life would lead me. But I had to bravely forge ahead –
embracing every moment life was willing to give and dedicate myself to truly
living. To love more deeply, risk more greatly, to never leave anything unsaid,
be unabashedly me, be alive in every moment, breathe in every memory, be rooted
in gratitude, and most of all, breathe bravely believing in life’s great
possibilities. I alone did not do it but by the hands and strength of so many.
I cannot fully appreciate my life today, the opportunities I’ve been so
graciously given, and the people I love without remembering this past year.
This is my life and to be grateful for it I must remember not only the joys but
each brave step through the unknown adversities of CF. Each of those difficult
days, moments laden with tears, and life-changing trials has led me to this
very day, has molded me into who I am, and has given me some of life’s richest
relationships and memories. And that is something more incredible than I could
have ever imagined.
The pain of a year ago will always be present within me. I’ll always
cringe and feel a sharp piercing in my side when it consumes my consciousness.
But in forgetting I lose myself. I force myself to be still and open my eyes to
this very moment. I quiet my racing heart and mind. I remind myself of the gift
that is this very breath. As I find myself facing the dawn of another new year,
I am immersed within waves of gratitude and the words, “be brave” reverberating
through moments of the past and powerfully resounding within those of the
future.
Just like
last year I do not know what tomorrow will bring. But the truth is, none of us
do. I do know, however, that whatever life offers we must be brave – never
afraid to remember the journey that got us to this very beautiful moment in
life while living bravely in today. And most of all, we must always be rooted in endless hope for tomorrow’s
possibility. Here’s to remembering 2015 and the great possibility 2016 holds. Love
to you all as we begin this incredible year together.
Take a deep breath and hear the
words “be brave” within every step you take.
