Monday, October 13, 2014

Strength Among Weakness

Have you ever been so overcome with emotion, so stripped of every ounce of stoic strength, that the mere presence of a memory steals your words and replaces them with continuous, passionate tears?

Not only is it a culmination of memories that brings tears streaming down my face, but the feelings and relationships in which these memories are built upon.  Each defining memory is weaved together by the beauty of the people that helped create them.  For the last few days I have been at a loss for words: easily overcome with tears of gratitude for life's journey and the amazing people that have filled my days thus far.

Beautiful Irony
I have spent the last few days thinking about the irony of life, and how it is built upon the influence and presence of each beautiful relationship that encapsulates it.  How relationships, conversations, and memories have made me everything I am today.  That the last 27 years are made up of moments and relationships that have prepared me for who and what I am at this very moment.  That the future is built upon meaningful relationships, the generosity I have been shown, and passionately believing in a tomorrow that is not defined by what I am not, but what I am. That the root of every past, present, and future breath is rooted in gratitude.  For 27 years I hid something deep within myself: terrified that the world would see my weakness and vulnerability, that I would succumb to my own fears of being different and an outcast.  The ironic thing about life? Sometimes the very thing that you think defines your weakness is really the very thing that defines your strength.

My life is filled with pivotal moments, conversations, and relationships that have forever changed me: leaving echoes of the past etched deep within and defining to who I am.  The beautiful irony of those moments has left me a mess of emotion.

A few months ago a dear friend said something that has left me shaken to the core of all that I ever thought defined me.  It began as a small whisper that I tried so tirelessly to silence, and has grown into something that loudly resounds every time I look in the mirror.   Her words? "We all have known what you are capable of doing and the things you are meant to do, it's just getting you to realize those things and believe it."  Months later, similar words would be generously spoken from people I so greatly respect and admire: incredible people who have believed in me more than I could have ever believed in myself. Those words have permeated every ounce of my being.  Those resounding words and acts of selfless kindness would be at the very heart of my uncontrollable tears. 

Defined by the honesty of who I am.
If you would have told me five years ago, one year ago, or even six months ago that my life would look the way it does at this very moment, I would have never believed it.  Life is beautifully ironic.   The relationships and feelings in which every memory is built upon has led me to this very moment in life and has prepared me for whatever the future may hold.  I am no longer defined by the weakness I have tried my entire life to hide, but am strengthened by the truth of who I am: forever being grateful for every beautiful breath.  

Life is an incredible tapestry woven together by beautiful relationships, the memories that encompass each day, and the grateful tears that strengthen who we are.   Love to you all. 

What beautiful moments define your life?

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