Just Breathe

Trust. It is the foundation for every relationship, every life event, every action, every breath.  Do you whole heartedly trust?  Do you trust the people impacting your life?  Most of all, do you trust yourself?

Think about your day and every moment of trust you must have: it's quite astounding.  You must trust your alarm clock will go off, trust your car will start, and trust the people around you.  It's true, some elements of the day hold more trust than others, but nonetheless they all involve the same need to trust.



I look around at the people who influence my life every day and I am truly grateful.  My days are surrounded by so many wonderful people.  I trust them with my life, both literally and figuratively.

Trust Issues
We all have them to some extent, mine just seem to be primarily with myself.  I do not trust my body and I certainly do not trust CF.  It would be fair to say that CF has robbed me of certainty within myself: it continually asserts its strength, and it terrifies me to think of its destructive ability both physically and mentally.


 Just Breathe

The words, "just breathe," represent trust to its very core definition.  "Just breathing" is the foundation for life; without that trust we have nothing.  I have thoughtlessly trusted that my lungs will breathe in each breath of air and renew my body, never to betray me.  I have taken so many of those thoughtless breaths for granted.  How can I possibly trust them when at moments my lungs begin to protest; making me feel and forcefully experience every crucial life giving breath?  Most days amidst the beautiful chaos of my life, my thoughts are rooted in the act of "just breathing," always trusting that tomorrow will be better.  No matter how labored each breath is that CF makes me fight for, each one is still filled with possibility.  

Trust each breath you take and use it to its fullest potential.  Use it to love, use it to sing, use it to tell someone how grateful you are for them.  I am grateful for each of you.  Love to you all.

Breathe bravely today. 

How Can I Keep From Singing

Palais Garnier Opera House, 2O11

"My life flows on in endless song above Earth's lamentations

I hear the real, though far off song, that hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife I hear the music ringing.

It finds and echo in my soul, How can I keep from singing?"

How can I possibly keep from singing?  Singing is who I am.  With every breath I take to sing, I know I am alive.  Every note I sing is a proclamation to my lungs and to CF that they have not won, and they are not going to win without a fight. 

Singing & CF
I am frequently asked if CF makes singing difficult.  My response?  I don't know anything different. Breathing is the foundation for singing, and since my lung function is about half the amount of what it should be for a person my age, it can make singing challenging some days.  I do wonder what it would be like to take a deep breath: I mean really deep.  Some days I wake up and the last thing my lungs want to do are breathe, let alone sing, but I cannot let them win.  The medications I take can also make singing a bit challenging: affecting my voice itself, my hearing, and my coordination.  It terrifies me that someday I may have no other choice than to take a medication that could save my life but completely end my singing. That sounds so dumb, doesn't it, but singing is what I do every day of my life.



I honestly think singing has helped slow the damage to my lungs and has helped keep them as "healthy" as they are.  I can tell how my lungs are doing based upon the number of measures I can sing in a song and how clear my voice is.  Because of this I can clue into an infection or something "brewing" in my lungs relatively quickly.  Let's just say I am very "in-tune" [ba du chick] with what is happening when I breathe.  Singing is also good for the mind and soul.

Singing in Germany, 2OO9

Making Music
I am so very privileged to share my passion for music with so many.  I am so grateful for the students I teach, the choirs I sing in, and the professors and mentors who guide me to be better and who believe in me.  This past Fall I started a graduate program for my Masters in Voice Performance.  I am not going to lie, it's been the most difficult 8 months of my life thus far, but I love every chaotic minute.  The harder CF pushes, the harder I push back.  My life is filled with so much music, and I am so grateful for each moment and opportunity.


Thank you to everyone who has helped me to make music: my professors past and present, mentors, conductors, colleagues, and students.  Every note is rooted in a breath of beautiful gratitude. Love to you all.


What song is your life singing?


Need some beautiful music to start your day? Check out the South Dakota Chorale, an amazing professional choir I am so lucky to sing with:
South Dakota Chorale "I am the Rose of Sharon"
or www.southdakotachorale.com