Wednesday, April 16, 2014

How Can I Keep From Singing

Palais Garnier Opera House, 2O11
"My life flows on in endless song above Earth's lamentations
I hear the real, though far off song, that hails a new creation.
Through all the tumult and the strife I hear the music ringing.
It finds and echo in my soul, How can I keep from singing?"

How can I possibly keep from singing?  Singing is who I am.  With every breath I take to sing, I know I am alive.  Every note I sing is a proclamation to my lungs and to CF that they have not won, and they are not going to win without a fight. 

Singing & CF
I am frequently asked if CF makes singing difficult.  My response?  I don't know anything different. Breathing is the foundation for singing, and since my lung function is about half the amount of what it should be for a person my age, it can make singing challenging some days.  I do wonder what it would be like to take a deep breath: I mean really deep.  Some days I wake up and the last thing my lungs want to do are breathe, let alone sing, but I cannot let them win.  The medications I take can also make singing a bit challenging: affecting my voice itself, my hearing, and my coordination.  It terrifies me that someday I may have no other choice than to take a medication that could save my life but completely end my singing. That sounds so dumb, doesn't it, but singing is what I do every day of my life.

I honestly think singing has helped slow the damage to my lungs and has helped keep them as "healthy" as they are.  I can tell how my lungs are doing based upon the number of measures I can sing in a song and how clear my voice is.  Because of this I can clue into an infection or something "brewing" in my lungs relatively quickly.  Let's just say I am very "in-tune" [ba du chick] with what is happening when I breathe.  Singing is also good for the mind and soul.

Singing in Germany, 2OO9
Making Music
I am so very privileged to share my passion for music with so many.  I am so grateful for the students I teach, the choirs I sing in, and the professors and mentors who guide me to be better and who believe in me.  This past Fall I started a graduate program for my Masters in Voice Performance.  I am not going to lie, it's been the most difficult 8 months of my life thus far, but I love every chaotic minute.  The harder CF pushes, the harder I push back.  My life is filled with so much music, and I am so grateful for each moment and opportunity.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me to make music: my professors past and present, mentors, conductors, colleagues, and students.  Every note is rooted in a breath of beautiful gratitude. Love to you all.

What song is your life singing?

Need some beautiful music to start your day? Check out the South Dakota Chorale, an amazing professional choir I am so lucky to sing with:
South Dakota Chorale "I am the Rose of Sharon"

1 comment:

  1. You are such an inspiration to us all, enjoy reading your blogs everyday thank you for sharing, keeping you in our prayers always. Sue & Jerry Erstad. Hope to see you at the resort this summer.