It's become hard for Mark and I to talk of the future. By the future I mean 1O years from now, 5 years from now, even 1 year from now. Very rarely do we talk about growing old together. When we do, it's plagued by a deep unspoken pain within our hearts, for we both know the cold truth and reality that lies ahead of us. You who are close to my life probably have heard me often joke about Mark's life after me. Call it a coping method? A way to ease the blow of the future? I think about Mark's life without me, the future that could have been, the dreams that may never come to fruition. I think about him waking up in the morning and me not being there, seeing traces of me everywhere he looks, seeing friends and family that won't know what to say. I worry that he won't be ok.
We must intentionally live day by day, being grateful for whatever we get, and making the most of each moment. No one's future is set in stone, so make the most of each breath you are given.