Finding the beauty in every breath.
As much as I do my best to live in the very moment
that is given to me, I can't help but be consumed at times with the deafening
pleas for tomorrow that fill my heart. The past few days have been filled with
the clamorous sounds of my mind desperately pleading with my body: begging CF
to just give me time. I get caught up in thinking and dreaming about the
future, but there's a deep pit in my stomach that never seems to go away: a
constant reminder grounding me to the realities of CF.
My internal dialogue tirelessly stirring within me:
trying to make deals between my body and CF. It can be a mere cough that
catches me off guard and reminds me that I am not invincible, waking to a
pounding pain in my joints as I crawl out of bed for the first time every
morning, or the suffocating humidity that makes me aware of every breath that
passes through my lips. They all remind me of how quickly CF can change
everything again. I think about how long it has taken me to get to this point
again, and how devastatingly fast CF can undermine the life I so desperately
love and cling to.
Live for today.
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